


Personal Revelations

by Tennyo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Heart, Based on episode summary and tumblr meta and conversations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Romance, POV Dean, Speculative fiction, jealous!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 20:44:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3783751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tennyo/pseuds/Tennyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After finding Claire's mother, Dean finds out some things about Cas that he wasn't expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Personal Revelations

**Author's Note:**

> Rated Teen for language and some blood.   
> Alrighty. Another SpecFic! Thought about making it a series, but... they don't fit well together. If you're interested, feel free to check out [Personal Conversations](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3469517), where I speculated about ep. 10.18
> 
> The meta this is based on was written by [LizBob](http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/116656439853/i-think-deans-still-under-the-impression-that) over on Tumblr.
> 
> The story was prompted by a conversation I had with [GlassClosetCastiel](http://archiveofourown.org/users/RileyBrennan/pseuds/GlassClosetCastiel).

“Goddamn angel cult,” Dean grumbles, washing blood from his hands at a faucet next to what he can only call a shed. He swears, if Metatron wasn’t locked back up in a Heaven jail cell, he’d gank him for fucking shit up this bad. The Mark on his arm throbs at the suggestion, and Dean grits his teeth. He turns off the water, and looks up to survey the remnants of the cult they found here.

Cas had gone off with Claire to find her mom. Unfortunately, they’d found her in the middle of a creepy-ass cult, whose leader just happened to be a meatsuit for a rogue angel. The leader, and some of his cronies as well. With over a half dozen angels to deal with, Cas hadn’t done well when he first made contact. Angry over his role in making them fall, they’d attacked, and taken Claire during the struggle.

Dean had gotten a call from a frantic and injured Cas, and had dragged Sam along as fast as he could to a campground on the outskirts of north Lafayette, Indiana. Turned out to be just inside the border of Prophetstown State Park. Of course a creepy angel cult would camp out in such a place. Why not? From what they’d learned so far, Amelia had joined the cult before the angels fell, and was in too deep by the time their leader got taken over.

His eyes latch onto Sam carrying Amelia in his arms, then Cas following behind, supporting a crying Claire. Shit, that kid just can’t catch a break. At some point, an angel had gotten Amelia to consent to possession, but she couldn’t contain it for long. Now, she’s not all there. Barely recognized her own daughter. Maybe he should call Jody, see if she can put up another stray, if Annie isn’t already a big enough handful. With a sigh, Dean follows, opening the door of Cas’ car for Sam to carefully place Amelia in the passenger seat. The woman gawps at Sam, and Claire pushes him away to kneel next to her and hold her tightly. Dean can see the girl’s shoulders shake with silent sobs.

With a sigh, Dean turns away and gives Cas a once-over. His hair is disheveled in a way Dean hasn’t seen since… Well, since before Cas became human, and there’s a fresh cut on his cheek. The guy has ignored the smear of blood running down his face, and the wound he got during his first encounter with the other angels has reopened, causing a fresh blossom of blood on his white shirt. Dean goes over to him and clears his throat, turning Cas’ blue gaze on him. He can’t meet it, so he stares at the cut on the guy’s cheek.

“Damn angel blades, huh?” He gestures to his own face, to indicate the blood on Cas’.

Cas reaches up, fingertips touching the blood on his jaw. “Oh, yes. While I have my own Grace back, wounds from angel blades do take longer to heal.”

“Yeah.” Dean gestures at the stain on Cas’ shirt, avoiding the piercing blue gaze he can feel on him. “We should probably re-bandage that, too.”

Cas nods, and Dean leads the way over to the Impala to get the medkit. Shit, when did they become this awkward around each other? Dean frowns and pops open the trunk to get a fresh towel for the wounds. Cas isn’t in his personal space, he hasn’t said anything embarrassing in a while, so why is it like this?

Schooling his face to one of indifference, he makes Cas take off his jackets and open his shirt. While that’s happening, Dean pointedly avoids looking, keeping his eyes on his own hands, digging out the bandages and tape, a bottle of water, and the superglue he keeps in the suture kit. He can’t look at Cas now, can’t think of the body that used to belong to Amelia's husband, Claire’s father. Now, it just belongs to Cas. And Dean doesn’t want to look too long, to think of what it might be like to… No. That’s not for Dean, and especially now that Cas is an angel again, certainly not something Cas would want.

“Dean.”

Shit, he’s going to have to turn around now.

“Here, dude.” He hands Cas a towel and bottle of water. “Wipe off your face and come here.”

Dean leans against the trunk of the Impala and peels aside the edge of Cas’ shirt. The bandage they had taped just below his ribcage earlier is now soaked, and Dean focuses on peeling it off, and then daubing the blood away from the injury. It hasn’t reopened completely, but they need to stop the slow seep of blood. Knowing that the wound will heal fast enough, Dean uses superglue to seal it instead of stitches. As soon as the skin is bonded to itself, Dean tapes on another bandage, training his eyes only on the work at hand, even if they try time and again to drift, to take in the tan skin and trim frame of his friend. The last piece of tape secured to skin, Dean’s fingers brush over the bandage. A gasp from Cas brings him back to himself, and he pulls away, turning back to the medkit to put things away.

“All done.” He crumples up the bandage wrapping, “Can you still angel-clean your clothes?” He can’t help but glance at Cas while he buttons up his now spotless white shirt. He lets his eyes linger for just a moment on the chest that once had a banishing sigil carved into it, before turning back to his task.

“Dean?”

He turns back to Cas, and the dude is holding out the now blood-stained towel. “I’ll clean this too, but want to make sure the blood is completely off my face first. Do you mind?”

Swallowing, Dean takes the towel and flicks his eyes over the cut on Cas’ cheek, down along his jaw. A fleck of rusty red draws his attention to the guy’s earlobe.

“Just a small spot…” Dammit, he’s going to have to get it. He raises the towel and swipes at the blood until it’s all gone.

“Finished,” he says, placing the towel in Cas’ hand, and focusing on that hand as it gently pulls the towel from his grasp.

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas’ voice is gentle, and for just a moment, Dean allows himself to look into Cas’ eyes, and they’re soft, in a way that’s disconcerting, because Cas… Angels aren’t supposed to look at him that way. Especially not while the Mark of—

“Castiel!” A sharp voice rings out, and Dean turns to see a man with dark hair and features, with a small entourage behind him, advancing on their location.

Dean positions to place Cas behind him, “Shit, Cas you should—”

“Hannah?”

Wait, _what_? Dean takes a good look at the group that stops ten feet from them. None of them look like the woman that should be Hannah. The man at the head of the group, Mr. dark hair and bushy eyebrows, takes a step forward.

“Did you think we wouldn’t come for you after what you’ve done, Castiel?”

Cas’ eyes flick to Dean, and he steps forward, crossing in front of him. “I understand that I went against your wishes, but it was necessary.”

“Necessary? Castiel, where is—”

“Hannah,” Cas says, interrupting the guy with dark hair. Yup, Dean had heard that name right.

“Please, let’s take this conversation somewhere more discreet.” Dean can see the tense set of Cas’ shoulders, and he wonders what the dude’s screwed up now. He’s also wondering how long Hannah’s been in a guy’s body.

“Alright,” says dude-Hannah, “But leave your blade behind.”

Cas nods, slides the angel blade from his sleeve, and hands it to Dean. “I’ll be right back. Will you check on Claire and Amelia for me?”

“Cas, are you sure this is a good idea?” Dean whispers as he grabs the hilt.

“Yes, I…” Cas looks away, “I took something from Heaven without permission, and now I need to, as you say, clean up my mess.”

Shit, Cas needs to quit getting himself in trouble. “Man, please tell me you didn’t do something stupid again?”

Something flickers across Cas’ features; hurt, guilt? before changing back to that cold, hard look of a warrior. “Dean, I can handle this.” When Dean doesn’t move, he softens just a bit, “Please.”

Finger pointed at Cas’ chest, Dean says, “We’ve got enough shit on our plates right now, we don’t need any more.” He tilts his head in the direction of Cas’ car, “But if you need us, yell.”

Cas gives him a small smile, before turning back to the group of angels and walking with them far enough away as to not be heard. The guy Hannah’s currently wearing says something, and Cas’ head bows, shoulders slumping. Since it doesn’t look like anybody’s about to get their stabbing on any time soon, Dean turns to go see how Sammy’s dealing with things.

Amelia’s just this side of drooling vegetable, and Claire has stomped off to the nearby river to vent. When Dean tells Sam about the other angels, Sam tenses for a moment, but Dean gets him to calm down, says that it looks like they just want to talk, maybe get back whatever it is Cas took. Dean catches a brief flash of something across Sam’s face, maybe worry about Cas, but then it’s gone.

He claps a hand on Sam’s shoulder, “Look, I’m gonna make sure Claire’s not doing something stupid. Keep an eye on her mom?”

Sam nods, “Yeah, sure. I’ll ahh, yell or something, if… whatever.”

“Yeah.”

Across the dirt road is a small ridge, and on the other side is a swath of grass that leads to the river. He scans the bank until he finds Claire, throwing rocks into the water. Hands in his pockets, Dean takes his time. He thinks about Cas, and what he thinks he’s understood about the guy so far.

All this time, Dean thought Cas was kinda... _with_ Hannah. He’d been road-tripping with her, after all. Although he was alone when he went after Claire, but Dean remembers something about Hannah returning to run Heaven. Still, he’s always thought Cas and Hannah had something going on. Cas had left the bunker after Dean had been turned back from being a demon. With a female. And Dean had taken the hint back then. Later he had found out that had been Hannah. He’d seen the way that Hannah had looked at Cas, back before Metatron got the angels to turn their backs on him. And who could blame her for getting a little doe-eyed around the guy?

So yeah, he thought Cas and Hannah were getting their angel rocks off together. And Dean was definitely not jealous. Nope. When Cas told Dean that Hannah had helped him get his Grace back, he had _not_ acted like a petulant teenager and pulled away from Cas. He was just being respectful of personal space. So what if he’d avoided eye contact since then? He’d been distancing himself from Cas lately anyway, Cain’s words ringing in his ears.

And now Dean finds out that Hanna’s a dude now? The thought swirls around Dean’s brain, about Cas and a dude doing… ya know. A spike of something ugly ( _not_ jealousy, he tells himself) shoots through him, and he clears his throat. He’s close enough to Claire now that the sound gets her attention, and she turns, face splotchy and streaked with drying tears. She swipes at her nose with the heel of one hand and chucks another rock into the river.

“What do you want?” Her voice cracks, and she turns back to glare at the river.

Dean comes to stand next to her, and he bends down to pick up a couple of rocks. “Just came to throw some rocks in the river, same as you.”

“Well go do it somewhere else.”

He glances at Claire sideways, hefts one of his rocks, and flicks it across the water, where it bounces twice before disappearing into the depths.

“We’re here for you, and your mom. Not gonna leave until you’re ready.”

“Whatever,” Claire’s voice wavers, and she pointedly avoids his gaze.

Knowing better than to try to do something like giving a comforting pat on the shoulder, Dean’s hands go back into his pockets as he makes his way back up the ridge. When he reaches the top, he sees the group of angels surrounding Cas’ car, with Sam and Cas off to the side. Dude-Hannah and another angel are discussing something, crouched near Amelia.

As Dean approaches, Sam notices and clams up, his lips pressing into a thin line. Probably been talking about how fucked up the Mark is making him. Dean knows Sam and Cas have kept in touch and talk about him, and it pisses him off that they hide it. After all, Dean’s come as clean as possible about how all this is screwing with him. The anger causes the Mark to flare with the urge to be violent, and he breathes slow and deep.

Dean stops a few feet away from the car, and everyone turns to him. The angels act wary, while Sam and Cas come over to stand beside him. The angel that had been talking with Hannah speaks up.

“We have a facility. Some vessels, similar to this woman, are located there. They receive proper care, and no harm will come to them. We can take her there.”

“We should leave that to Claire, once she makes her way back here,” Dean says. He glances at Cas, who is staring at his own shoes.

“This is all my fault. I promised—”

“Dude.” Dean places a hand on the guy’s shoulder, “If anything it’s mine and Sam’s fault for screwing with fate, or destiny, and all that crap.” Cas looks into his eyes, and they’re so damn blue, and sad. “You had no idea that all this would happen.”

“But Claire, she—”

“What about me?”

They turn to see Claire standing with her arms crossed, a frown on her face.

“Yeah, you screwed up royally,” she says while eyeing Cas, “And I don’t like you very much,” she points a finger at Dean, “And I don’t trust angels about as far as I can throw one.” She glares at the group surrounding the car. “But I’m done. You can all go fuck yourselves for all I care. But someone’s gotta take care of Mom.” Her voice softens on the last word, and Dean can see dude-Hannah’s face get a sympathetic look.

“Claire,” the angel says, “I believe we may have a solution. We can discuss that, if you like?”

Twenty minutes later, the angels are taking Claire and her mother down the road to where a vehicle is waiting. Dean had watched as Cas and Hannah had clasped hands, then embraced. He had to turn away from that, and he made his way back up to the top of the ridge. He’s now watching the sun cast golden rays across the sky as it gets closer to the horizon.

It’s not the first time he’s gotten all weird from seeing Cas with someone else, but Dean tries to not look at those emotions too hard. He and Cas are friends. More than that, they’re like family now. Mentally kicking himself, Dean watches the glint of the river, and tries to do some of those calming exercises, breathing deep.

“Dean.”

The gravel of the voice surprises him, and he turns to see Cas coming up. Cas stands beside him, and turns to watch the sun set. “Claire and Amelia have left with the angels.”

Dean stares at the side of his friend’s face, “I thought you would have gone with them.”

Cas looks down at the river, “I can’t.”

“Dude, why not?”

“There are other things that need to be done first.” Cas turns to face him, and the golden, slanted light of the sun throws his face into contrast, both soft and harsh at the same time.

“I’m sorry,” Dean says, turning back to the sun and river, unable to deal with the guilt that Cas is staying behind for him.

“Don’t be.”

After a moment of silence, Dean says, “So, you and Hannah?” He can feel his friend shift his whole body to face him.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Dean shrugs, “You two spent a lot of time together and all…” No, this isn’t awkward. “What’s it like, now that Hannah’s wearing a dude?” Real smooth, Winchester. He can feel his face heat.

He feels Cas’ eyes bore into the side of his head before he gets a response, “I don’t see how Hannah’s vessel makes a difference. However I am glad that the original one was able to successfully return to her husband.”

Wow. Just, wow. But Cas never really answered his question. Does that mean he doesn’t care that Hannah’s in a guy now? The thought makes Dean’s heart pace a little bit faster. So far, Cas has only shown interest in women. There was Meg, Daphne, April, Nora. And then Hannah, of course.

“So, you spend much time with Hannah now?” Be cool, Dean.

Cas tilts his head, “No. Hannah’s been trying to recreate order in Heaven. From what I’ve heard, the work has been exemplary.”

“So you and the new Hannah haven’t…” Gah, why is this so difficult?

Cas just blinks at him, all innocence in the light which is a richer gold, going almost copper.

“Haven’t done what, Dean?”

Dean’s never been shy about sex, so why is his brain spinning gears now? He really doesn’t want to answer that, so he blurts out, “Ya know, the horizontal tango?” He bobs his head side to side, eyebrows raised.

“Hannah and I have never danced, no.”

Oh, Jesus. Dean wipes a hand down his face. “No, Cas… Uhh, the beast with two backs? Bumping uglies?”

Now Cas looks concerned.

Dammit! “Sex, Cas. Have you had sex!” That came out louder than intended, and he glances down the ridge to see where Sam is, but he’s calmly leaning against the fender of the Impala, talking to someone on his phone.

“Dean, Hannah and I have never participated in sexual congress together.”

Dean’s brain grinds to a halt. “Wait, _never_?”

“No.”

“You guys fool around at all?” he asks incredulously. Had Dean gotten his signals crossed somewhere?

“Hannah and I were never…” Cas pauses, turns to face the glow of the sunset. “I have been partially unclothed in her presence once, and she has disrobed for a shower in front of me.” He turns back to face Dean, “When the husband of Hannah’s vessel confronted her, we did share a kiss in an attempt to make him stop his pursuit.” He squints, “Is this what you mean by ‘fooling around’?”

Dean realizes his mouth is flopping open like a freaking fish. “Nevermind.” He turns to face the sunset, watching as the glowing orb descends past the horizon. Cas’ eyes are still boring into him, he can feel it. Hopefully the setting sun will hide the heat he feels on his cheeks.

“If you were wanting to know if Hannah and I were… involved romantically, the answer is no. I think there was a brief moment that she entertained the thought, but I was never interested.”

A tension Dean hadn’t even noticed eases from his shoulders. All this time, he thought Cas… Dean shifts his weight, trying to come to terms with his emotions. But that doesn’t matter. None of it matters if they can’t get the Mark off of him. He just hopes that Cas isn’t, that he doesn’t… It’s impossible that he might, but if he did…

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas?” he says without turning.

“The sunset is beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Uh huh.”

He feels Cas’ shoulder bump against his. “Then I’m glad that we’re here to share it, together.”

A small smile on his lips, Dean reaches over and throws his arm over Cas’ shoulders, arm resting against the back of his neck. It doesn’t take long before Cas reciprocates, bringing his hand up to grasp his shoulder.

“Me too, Cas. Me too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know the sunset pic has nothing to do with the actual episode. But can you blame me for including it?  
> Also, apologies for ending it here. But I really don't think the boys are ready for more right now.  
> It's spec-fic, so I am trying to make it as much like canon as possible.  
> Find the original sunset image [here.](https://twitter.com/JensenAckles/status/575115931497574400)


End file.
